NYSCP

Parent and Carer – Self Harm – Support Information

What is self-harm?

Self-harm is behaviour that is done deliberately to harm oneself. At least 10% of adolescents report having self-harmed. Self-harm can include, for example:

self-cutting
taking an overdose
hitting or bruising
intentionally taking too little or too much medication
burning
hanging
suffocation
attempted suicide

Although some people who self-harm may be suicidal, self-harm is often used as a way of managing difficult emotions without being a suicide attempt. However, self-harming can result in accidental death.

How to support your child

Have a conversation, but don’t bring up self-harm straight away
You could organise this around another activity, like a walk or drive
Ask if anything is worrying them and how they are feeling
Let them know you are not judging them or putting them down, and that you love them and that will not change
Show that you are prepared to listen to what your child has to say
If your child does not want to talk, see if they will write you a note, email or text message about how they feel
Ask if they would rather speak to someone else (e.g., a GP, counsellor or helpline)
If your child is able to be open about their self-harm, try to help them work out feelings and situations that may trigger it
Try to think together of ways to handle strong feelings that don’t involve self-harm
Help them think through their problems and see possible solutions
Encourage them to think about the long view and how things may change in the future

Looking after yourself and other family members

How can I get support?

If you know someone who talks about or has tried suicide, you might feel upset, frustrated, confused or scared. These are all normal responses.

Supporting a person who is suicidal is likely to be a stressful time in your life, and a time when you are likely to need support yourself. You could:

take some time out to concentrate on yourself,
talk to friends and family,
talk to someone on an emotional support helpline (see our useful contacts),
talk to your own doctor,
find and join a local support group for carers, friends and family.

You can tell the person you care for about services which are available, and use these services if you want to talk to someone about how you are feeling (see www.safeguardingchildren.co.uk/shsip/parents-and-carers-services).

Introduction